Angel Momma Healing Process

****Trigger warning : child loss ****

This month is always a rollercoaster of my emotions.
April is about the season of rebirth and resurrection.

Last week was my moms birthday.
What many of you that follow me know is that I lost her earthside when I was 6 years old.

What many of you may not know is this month would also have been the anticipated birth month for my angel baby that I had complications with 4 years ago.

You likely don't know because I don't often talk about it because it was the most confusing, painful, and lonely part my of life.

I didn't really want children but the pain I went through really shook that into me even deeper after the chaos that ensued during those dark days.

I was more alone than I ever felt even though I had Selo lovingly by my side. I was lonely because the support of feminine sisterhood or companionship was totally distant and basically non existent.

It was mostly distant though… because I wasn't willing to share what I was going through. I was scared confused and felt broken. I felt like everyone would judge me and have opinions.

My body was fighting me. The doctors didn't even know I was pregnant or what was happening until far to late, and though my body was definitely rejecting the pregnancy and considered a miscarriage I still had to make hard decisions and basically experience the loss as an abortion in the end which rocked my own beliefs and values at the time.

I had to face that a part of me and quite possibly all of me was dying and there was nothing I could truly do about it. My body was angry and so was my heart.

I remember looking the angel of death in the eyes and talking with the spirits of my own ancestry and feelings such a sense of disconnect from the world around me.

The judgements that I felt going through the motions were numbing and I felt like no one was going to understand what I was going through.

Looking back at it and knowing what I do now, I realize how not alone I truly am. Especially in how I felt.

I didn't realize how many others suffered from such a loss and traumatizing experience and series of decisions.

After my situation I started offering soul sessions again as a way to help myself and others heal and suddenly God placed women after women in my path that had similar experiences. I was amazed at how Spirit knew I needed to work with these women to begin to heal my own heart.

I still don't talk about it on here as publicly because I realize how hard of a topic this is for so many.

But I also want others to realize they are not alone.

During my series of events I had many visions and intense dreams. Many of which my mom and grandmothers spirits came to me to let me know everything would be okay and they would take care of my angels soul.

I think that was some of the most comforting moments through it all. Knowing that death and loss wasn't new to me. I had experienced grief in many forms but this new form of it was beyond my comprehension. I know now that it was a part of my journey for a bigger reason and so that I could help understand and be a light for others who also experience these things.

Art is my way to heal and connect. So I've begin a series of pieces to process these feelings for myself as I know they will continue to come up for me. I hope to make prints of these pieces to.share with others going through similar experiences.

This is one of 2 I've already begun.
If this speaks to you or someone you know please leave a comment or share with a friend. Let the womben of your life know they are not alone in this journey.

I don't know if I'll ever want or have kids after all of it to be honest. But what I do know is that in my heart I do have an angel baby and they show themselves to me through signs and synchronicities nearly everyday. It took a while for me to be willing to acknowledge them. But I am grateful to have a connection to the spirit and know it is safe.

The rise as an angel momma is scary and heavy. It’s something that never leaves your heart. It can feel very lonely at times.
But the truth is…we are never alone.

If you read this far, thanks for being a part of my journey.

Shine on always.

~☆ Angel Momma is a 16x20 mixed media piece with shimmering glitter varnish and made with a whole lotta love ☆~

Grow Like A Seed.

🥵Whewee its TOASTY outside. I'm going to have to vibe with my nature from the inside out today.

Which is fine by me as I get to spend more time with my ne wplant plant babies

I'm loving watching all the things grow lately, and that includes YOU. 

With so many shifts happening in the world I'm here to help you stay grounded and focused. 

I took a few days off to ride the waves of emotion and test out some of my previous practices and they helped get me refocused and more excited than ever.

You see sometimes we have to go through a series of events to get triggered into more growth. 

To remember who you are and to learn new things so you can continue to help others.

It doesn't just start and stop with a simple check on and journaling.

(I know I'm always going on and on about journaling but....)

ITS DEEPER THAN THAT. 

You have to truly reprogram your lifestyle. 

You have to be willing to believe you can change.

You have to be willing to know that though everything feels like darkness... it's time to break through.

Like a seed that's been germinating for days or weeks.

Ya know its probably uncomfortable to be growing so much but feel so trapped in a shell....

Out growing everything you thought you knew as a living energy. 

But somehow reaching for the light because its warm...and it helps you feel stronger and gives you energy to keep going and going....

And then you begin to sprout roots and they help you get stabilized in this new area of the unknown. 

Nourishing you. Pushing your more upward to help the roots grow stronger too.

Imagine what it feels like to grow that first flower or fruit?

To spread seeds and nuts and goodness all over the lands.

🏼

BE LIKE THE SEED.

🏼

Its time to sprout.

ITS TIME TO ACTIVATE AND REACH FOR THE LIGHT.

I'm ready to help if you need someone to hold you up. ;) to help motivate you a bit more....

Like a rope...or a steak in a garden for support. 

It's time to take action and create a plan to help you reach your dreams. 

Let's shine together

Who's ready for some major growth ?

️️* Book a Soul Session With Me Today so we can break the surface together and grow!*

It's Time To Move Some Mountains

Some days things feel so heavy I can barely move,
and others I feel as if I can move mountains!⛰🏔🌋🗻

Okay let's be honest....

Sometimes those heavy days last weeks, months, or maybe its turning into a whole year...or more.⏰
I mean things have been Wildly Rough this year, & not in the way that some people like it 😏😅🤭.

I've found through my angst of life as of late that my biggest joy comes from connecting with the Earth and spirits that roam it.🌍

From fairy vibes to angelic frequencies there are so many things to tap into around this planet, and beyond.🌏🧝‍♀️🧚‍♀️😇

When things get heavy, my mind gets LOUD....but not with the kind of excitement I enjoy. 🤯

Its ringing with things to do, places to be, people to see, and this and that....🥴😵😱

And I forget to sit still for a moment....

It's easy to ignore the signs and messages from spirit. Actually just as easy as it is to witness them too. 🌬

Funny how that works huh?

It's like a switch gets flipped.💡

And all the magic fades away.😶

But when you can stop and take a moment someone or something is there to remind you to feel into the spirits guidance.🌬

The comfort of knowing the universe has your back....

&that your loved ones are always near.💖

Be it in spirit or in your heart. (Though there's really not much difference.)

I ask that you today, yes you if you're reading this, take a moment outside.🌿

Look around you & find something of the Earth to admire.🌲🥀

Listen clearly to the sounds around you & within you.

🌟What does spirit want you to do?

🌟Where does it want you to go?

🌟Who should you be reaching out to?

🌟How can you truly show up?

🙆‍Place your hands in the air & feel energy flow down through you.

Let it fill you up until you overflow so you have more than enough to share.

I ask you to do this because I care.

Because I want you to know there's someone cheering you on out there!

🥳

And if you're having a hard time connecting...

If you can't feel into your next step....

& it all just seems to hard to do on your own...

Hit me up. Let's schedule some time to talk.

I want to help you shine again friend.

It's time to get over this darkness and ascend.

🦸‍♀️🧚‍♀️💖

Drop me a comment if you vibe with this. And especially if you go out and take that breathe and charge up like I requested.

You're my people. I wanna see you show up!👇

Allow space for the voices in your heart to speak.

💖Somedays little things make a HUGE DIFFERENCE!💖

☀️Well actually these are the biggest windows in my home/studio.

I've been moping about wanting to upgrade my curtains for weeks .... I couldn't bring myself to do it.

🌫They were old, dark, and ripped before. They didn't bring me joy, and I didn't choose them...

🙄I made excuses ... and pretended like they didn't bother me.

Why?

😒Because the ones I had were just fine.... because I couldn't find what I wanted....because...because ...because..... I wanted to stay attached to something that no longer served me because it was easier.

.....They also reminded me of my Grandma.....💔

When we get in grief circles our attachment to things becomes intense. 😬

It's like we think if we let go of this thing we're letting go of the people we've loved and lost.😪

It's like this weight we carry around for no reason other than to be IN that low vibe because it reminds us of the people we love.😶

☀️☀️☀️Well I kept writing on my abundance wishlist to have some curtains that felt like me. That inspired my branding, that brought LIGHT INTO MY WORLD!☀️☀️☀️☀️

FAR TO LONG did I sit in the darkness of my studio thinking of wanting new curtains.

When finally....there she was....💭🧓

The sweet voice I had been waiting for in my heart.

Grandma came to my rescue yet again with her whispers of wisdom.

💭"Go get what you want silly! Would I have ever stopped myself from going and buying a new pair if i wanted them? Why do you think i had 4 boxes of curtains in the first place? It's because they brought me joy. "

And in that moment I giggled, and kind of cried a bit.😅

So often I hear messages for others. I've made a career out of holding space for others to connect with their loved ones who have transitioned.

But sometimes I forget to sit and listen to my own. I mean I do my best...but I'll be honest it's often easier to help others than ourselves, right?😬🤔

Mainly because when my sweet grandma chimes in....my heart still explodes.💗

Every time I think of how I'm grateful I still have the connection with her and all my other beloved spirits...I do still miss her oh so much.

But its these moments of continuing to make memories with loved ones even beyond their time in the physical with me.

It's that ability to be able to still hear her in my heart when I finally sit still enough to listen for her.💟

Shes always there.

👵💭"You don't need my old ripped curtains to feel me silly, I didn't like those ones anyway, that's why they were in a box! Stop fiddling around with excuses and take yourself on a date and get some light in here!" She said it loud and clear in my mind.

To me there is no doubt about it...it was her. So I told myself on my next essentials run, that curtains were essential to my health.

😏No longer would I sit in the darkness of energy that no longer served me.

As I went on that mission today, at first I was discouraged.

😔Nothing seemed to feel right...and I'd already spent many a night talking myself out of ordering them online.

I knew I was suppose to find what I needed. Something to let light in, yet something that helped give color and privacy.

😩I closed my eyes in the aisle for just a moment and asked Gram to please lead the way. Shes the one who did love shopping anyway.

And I felt the nudge. 👉💗

I went to an end cap I wouldn't have typically thought to look.

And there they were. 😆

One set of all in one curtains in my exact blue I had envisioned. The only pair like them.

Was the pattern perfect?...hmm I thought.💬

💭🧓"Sometimes ya roll with it kiddo, I feel these are the ones!" she spoke.

🤔🥰 sounds about right I thought back.😆

And off I went with my new curtains, picked out with my Grandmothers help. She didn't even have to make me go down every single aisle as she may have made me as a kid.🤭😅

And I must say they fit my vibe, and sure do let the light SHINE IN!

I'm so grateful for these moments.

This connection to spirits I've allowed into my life.🥰

Somedays its heavy. Some days its stressful.

But most days its fulfilling to know that there is life beyond this reality.

💨There is a presence of spirit that continues to live on in the hearts who allow space for them to thrive once souls pass from this realm.

👋My mission is to help others feel that connection.

💭To help others get messages from loved ones they've been waiting to reconnect with.

😁My mission is to help You learn how to open up your soul to spirits divine frequency, so that you to can have conversations with spirit.

<3 I'm feeling really blessed today.
I hope you are too.💖 if you're having a hard time hearing your inner spirit channel...hit me up.

Untill then

I'm off to get things done in my lit up studio!

Like prep for the Bring Me 2 Life Network podcast tonight at 8pm est!

💖 shine time.😇